Over the last several days, I’ve found myself reading messages that have touched me more deeply than I expected. Some came from former students and parents. Others came from longtime friends, fellow martial artists, and people who have been following the stories I’ve been sharing. A few were simple expressions of encouragement, while others brought back memories of moments and relationships that go back decades.
As I read through them, I began thinking about something I’ve spent much of my adult life teaching: We don’t always know the difference we’re making in another person’s life. Sometimes the smallest moments, the conversations we barely remember, or the encouragement we offer without a second thought become part of someone else’s story.
And sometimes, years later, those stories find their way back to us.
The Things We Carry With Us
For nearly three decades, I had the privilege of teaching martial arts in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. During those years, thousands of people came through the doors. Some were children taking their very first class, uncertain of what to expect. Others were teenagers searching for confidence, adults looking for something meaningful, or families hoping to share an experience together.
I watched children grow into young adults, earn black belts, graduate from school, begin careers, and start families of their own. I watched parents become students and students become instructors. There were countless promotions, demonstrations, competitions, conversations, and ordinary afternoons spent training together.
When I think about those years, I remember the martial arts, of course. I remember the forms, the techniques, the testing, and the discipline required to develop skill. Yet what stays with me most is the human experience of it all. The conversations before and after class. The moments when someone was struggling and needed encouragement. The times when a student discovered that they were capable of something they had previously believed was beyond them.
I always believed that what we were doing went far beyond teaching people how to punch, kick, block, or perform a form. We were creating opportunities for people to develop courage, patience, self-control, respect, and a greater understanding of themselves and others.
That was the intention. What I couldn’t always know was how much of it would remain with them.
Recently, a former student reached out and shared what those years had meant to him and his family. Another person remembered the encouragement and guidance they had received during their training. A fellow martial artist read something I had written and told me that I’d put into words thoughts he had been carrying himself. These messages weren’t about techniques or promotions. They were about relationships, belonging, and the experiences we carry long after a particular chapter of life has ended.
One message in particular came from a longtime martial arts brother who had been reading my book, Living Strong Through Martial Arts. He wrote to me about an old karate uniform and how the book had helped him recognize what that uniform represented in his life. He wanted to recreate it, to have it once again as a reminder of his journey and the people who had been part of it.
I thought about that for quite some time. To someone unfamiliar with martial arts, a uniform might appear to be nothing more than clothing worn during training. To those of us who have spent a lifetime on the training floor, it can represent something much greater. It carries memories of teachers, friendships, challenges, accomplishments, and the many versions of ourselves we’ve encountered along the way.
Sometimes an ordinary object becomes a doorway into an extraordinary collection of memories.
When Encouragement Comes Full Circle
There’s another part of this experience that I’ve been thinking about, especially during this season of my life.
For so many years, I was the person encouraging others. That was part of my responsibility as a teacher, a mentor, and a martial artist. When someone was struggling, I wanted to help them see what was possible. When someone doubted themselves, I wanted to remind them that they were stronger than they thought. When life presented difficulties, I encouraged people to draw upon the principles they were learning through their training.
Now, at 65 years old, I’m experiencing a season of significant change, and I’ve found myself on the receiving end of that same encouragement.
There’s something deeply meaningful about that.
People I once taught have reached out to offer support. Friends I’ve known for decades have reminded me that our relationships extend far beyond any particular school or training location. Fellow martial artists have opened their doors and made it clear that I have a place where I belong.
One of the most meaningful things anyone can say to another human being is that they have a home, a place where they’re welcome, and people who are glad they’re there.
I have been reminded of that in ways I will never forget.
What makes these experiences especially meaningful is that many of these relationships began in a martial arts training room. We came together to learn something physical, and somewhere along the way, we became part of one another’s lives.
I often say that martial arts is life, and life is martial arts. These past several weeks have given that belief an even deeper meaning for me.
The Lessons Are Still Teaching Me
This week also brought opportunities to sit down for podcast conversations and share stories from my life and my book. Each conversation reminded me why I felt compelled to write Living Strong Through Martial Arts in the first place.
I didn’t write the book simply to document my experiences or preserve a record of my martial arts journey. I wrote it because I believe the principles we practice in martial arts can help us become more skillful at being human, regardless of whether we’ve ever stepped onto a training floor.
Courage isn’t limited to facing an opponent. Sometimes courage means facing uncertainty. Patience isn’t simply waiting for our turn to practice a technique. Sometimes it means accepting that meaningful change takes time. Self-control isn’t only about controlling our physical movements. It is also about how we respond when life doesn’t unfold the way we expected.
These are lessons I’ve taught for years, and I’m still learning how to live them.
I’ve come to appreciate that teaching a principle doesn’t mean we’ve mastered it for the rest of our lives. Life continues to present new circumstances that ask us to examine what we believe, how we behave, and who we’re becoming.
Perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts of growing older. We begin to recognize that the journey was never simply about reaching a particular destination. It was about the person we were becoming along the way.
I think about the young man I once was, growing up in the South Bronx, searching for direction and a place in the world. I think about the teachers, friends, and mentors who helped me find my way, sometimes without ever realizing how important their influence would become.
And now I find myself thinking about the people who have written to me over the last several days. Their words have reminded me that the influence we have on one another doesn’t disappear when circumstances change. The relationships continue. The lessons continue. And, if we’re fortunate, we get opportunities to express our gratitude while we’re still here to do so.
A Question Worth Asking
There’s a question I want to leave you with, one that has been on my mind as I’ve read these messages.
Who has made a difference in your life, and have you ever taken the time to tell them?
Perhaps it was a teacher who believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself. Maybe it was a parent, a coach, a friend, a coworker, or someone who offered a few words of encouragement during a difficult season. Perhaps it was someone who gave you a place to belong when you weren’t sure where you fit.
They may have no idea how much that moment meant to you.
I know there are people in my own life who helped shape the person I am today, and I wish I had paid closer attention to some of those moments when they were happening. I wish I’d understood just how important they would become.
Over the last several days, I’ve been fortunate enough to hear from people who have taken the time to tell me what our shared experiences have meant to them. I want them to know that their words have meant just as much to me.
To everyone who has reached out, shared a memory, offered encouragement, read something I’ve written, purchased my book, or simply reminded me that our paths are still connected, thank you. Your kindness has helped me see this season of my life through a different lens.
For years, I hoped that something I taught might make a difference in someone else’s life. What I’m discovering now is that those same people are making a difference in mine.
And that is a lesson I will carry with me.
Keep Living Strong!
Master Peter Liciaga
Author of Living Strong Through Martial Arts: A Lifetime Journey of Martial Virtue
