“The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the questions you ask yourself.” — Tony Robbins
That truth hit me like a punch to the gut years ago. But it didn’t come from a stage or a podcast. It came from a moment. A moment when everything in me felt broken, exhausted, lost. And then… came the question.
It wasn’t grand or poetic.
It was simple.
It was human.
“What if my life isn’t over—what if this is the start of something greater?”
That question became the seed of what would grow into Living Strong. It sparked the first chapter of my book—“The Question That Changed Everything”—and the next evolution of my life. Not a comeback, but a becoming.
🔍 Why Questions Matter: The Psychology Behind Self-Inquiry
In the world of psychology, questions are more than just words strung together. They’re catalysts for transformation.
Positive psychology pioneer Dr. Martin Seligman, in his work on explanatory styles, teaches that the way we explain life events to ourselves (through internal dialogue and questions) can determine our resilience, optimism, and mental well-being.
When we ask ourselves empowering questions—like “What can I learn from this?” or “What’s still possible for me?”—we activate the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s executive center, responsible for problem-solving and decision-making.
Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Newberg and therapist Mark Robert Waldman, authors of Words Can Change Your Brain, confirm this too: even a single positive word or question can strengthen frontal lobe activity and improve cognitive functioning.
In contrast, disempowering questions—“Why does this always happen to me?” or “What’s the point?”—trigger the brain’s fear response and reinforce helplessness.
🧠 Mental Health and the Power of Self-Reflection
Mental health professionals often use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to teach patients how to recognize and reframe self-defeating thoughts. One core tool in CBT is the strategic use of questions—questions that challenge distorted beliefs and open up space for new possibilities.
Dr. Judith Beck, president of the Beck Institute for CBT, emphasizes the value of “Socratic questioning”—a method that gently leads individuals to examine the truth behind their automatic thoughts.
In my own life, when I asked, “What else could this mean?” I wasn’t ignoring my pain—I was stepping into my power.
✨ Asking the Right Question Is the First Act of Strength
In my book, I write:
“It wasn’t the answer that changed me. It was the question. That first, trembling act of daring to ask something different—to believe there might be something more, something worth rebuilding, even if I didn’t yet know how.”
That’s the heartbeat of Living Strong—not finding all the answers, but learning to ask stronger questions.
- Instead of “Why did this happen to me?” → Ask: “How can I grow from this?”
- Instead of “What did I lose?” → Ask: “What can I still create?”
- Instead of “Am I too old, too broken?” → Ask: “What if I’m just getting started?”
🔁 The Living Strong Practice: Daily Questions That Build a Resilient Life
Here are three questions you can use to start your day, straight from my personal Living Strong journal:
- What’s one thing I’m grateful for right now?
Gratitude grounds you. It shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. - What strength can I lean into today?
Resilience comes from remembering who you already are, not just who you’re trying to become. - Who can I encourage today—even if it’s just myself?
Connection builds strength. Sometimes your voice of encouragement is the one you need to hear most.
📚 What This Means for You (And Why I Wrote the Book)
I wrote Living Strong: The Power of Defining Moments because I believe we all come to a moment—a quiet but powerful pause—where the question we ask ourselves determines the road ahead.
For me, it came after surgeries, setbacks, and soul-searching. For you, it may come at 3:00 AM in the dark, or in a crowded café, or during a simple walk around the block.
But it will come.
And when it does, I hope you’ll remember this:
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to ask the right question.
📖 Ready to Dive Deeper?
Chapter One of Living Strong: The Power of Defining Moments is titled “The Question That Changed Everything.”
I invite you to read it. Reflect on it. Ask your own question. And begin your own conversation.
Because like the book, this blog—and this life—is a conversation between you and me.
Let’s keep talking. Let’s keep asking.
Let’s keep Living Strong.
📌 Pre-Order the Book Today
Visit www.PeterLiciaga.com/newbook to pre-order your signed copy (DEADLINE IS AUGUST 1ST 2025). You’ll also receive a special audiobook edition, bonus resources, and a personal thank-you note from me.
